Overcoming Common Obstacles to Dating Your Spouse
Part One: Lack of Time
Have you ever had the thought, “I just don’t have time”?
I know I have and sometimes still do.
It is not true.
The truth is everyone has time, the same exact amount of time.
Take a moment and imagine the most successful person you can. Whether it is a successful parent or musician or business person, it doesn’t matter.
Now realize they achieved their success with only 24 hours in a day and 168 hours in a week.
No more.
No less.
You have the same exact amount of time available to you.
If you are not dating your spouse it is not because you don’t have time. It is because you are doing something else with that time.
It is true that you only have a limited supply of time. And there is competition, sometime fierce competition, for that limited amount of time.
Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least. ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
If you want to see what someone’s priorities are, not what they think they are, not what they say they are, but what they really are, then take a look at their calendar.
Actually, take a look at your own. It reflects your choices about how you invest your time.
Two steps to overcome lack of time as an obstacle to dating your spouse
1. Be firm with your priorities
If you want to date your spouse but find you don’t have the time, then be firm with yourself and make some changes.
Here is a practical suggestion:
Often we make “to do” lists to help us prioritize how to spend our time. Putting dating on that list may NOT be where you start. Because time is limited, start by eliminating things that are less important. To do that I would suggest you make a “stop doing” list. What can you stop doing in order to make time for dating your spouse?
Remember, you invest your time in your true priorities. Make dating your spouse a true priority. Make room and put it on your calendar. It is your choice.
2. Be flexible with your approach
Going on a date does not have to take five hours on a Friday night.
If you can do that, go for it.
If you can’t, don’t give up. Do what you can.
Be flexible about when you date and how you date.
Consider different days of the week, or different times of day. Find what works for your and your spouse’s schedule.
Consider creative date ideas that take less time. Check these 75 Microdate Ideas to get your creative juices flowing.
“Be clear about your goal but be flexible about the process of achieving it.” ~ Brian Tracy
A date is meaningful to the degree of thoughtfulness and heart you put into it. Remember, courtship not the time of day or the amount of time, is the key to dating your spouse well.
Lack of time is not the true obstacle. The true obstacle is not making it a priority.
Investing time in dating your spouse demonstrates the priority you are setting on your relationship and your marriage. Investing there will pay dividends both in the long term and in the short term.
a terrible husband... says
My biggest time issue is letting meetings during the day or projects at night/weekends run long. I’ve started cutting things off when they’re scheduled to be cut off (and when I can control the cut-off) or saying “I have another appt I need to run to and just leave early myself.”
That’s helped both me with making sure nothing (including time with my wife) gets pushed off the schedule and others know that I’m leaving when I need to so get to to the point! 🙂
Spouse Dates says
Being firm with others, as well as ourselves, is a challenge especially with regard to our time. Being clear about our priorities and intentions helps. It is not easy but it is worth it. One of the benefits of scheduling a date is that you can let others know you have a very important “appointment”. Thanks for stopping by and commenting, Nick!