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Double Date: Get a New View of Your Spouse

May 24, 2013 by Steve

It is time for a change in perspective.

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It is dangerous to become too familiar with someone as important and as special as your spouse.

When you get to know someone, really know them, there is a danger in becoming too familiar with them. You can begin to relate more to your idea of them than who they really are.  

You have formed an idea of what they are like and what this or that means when they do or say things. You are not seeing what is really there. You no longer see them as they are but you are see them as you are.  You are seeing what is on your glasses.

How does this affect your marriage?

Oh, it can be terrible. Your spouse is in a box. A box that was built over time and never was seen. A glass box in your own head that has been painted and now, that is what you see.

Do you really see your spouse now?

How about changing the context?

If you ask a fish about the water, they will not know what you are talking about.

So it is with us.

It is like culture. You have no idea about your own until you experience another.

Get out of the familiar. Do something different. Allow yourselves to experience something new.

Do a double date with a couple you don’t know well. Let this open your awareness of who your spouse really is.

Look.

See.

Love with freshness the real person you are married to.

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Filed Under: How to Date

Comments

  1. denise says

    May 24, 2013 at 2:51 pm

    Wise advice.

  2. Mish says

    May 24, 2013 at 2:55 pm

    This is great and totally ironic that I stumbled onto it via Five Minute Fridays as I’m currently going through a divorce and it’s a bit late for spouse dates! lol.

  3. Mia says

    May 24, 2013 at 4:20 pm

    Hi Steve
    After twenty years of parenting, we are now empty nesters! It was difficult in the beginning, but hubbie and I are getting to know one another all over again and it is just awesome! Thanx for wise advice.
    Much love from FMF
    Mia

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Hi. My name is Steve Pare. I created Spouse Dates to share people, ideas and resources with you in order to help you build a better marriage - one date at a time!

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