The Grammar of Dating Your Spouse

It has been a long time since I was in grade school where I learned the basics of grammar.  I usually don’t think much about grammar.  

However, recently I have. 

I have been thinking about the difference between nouns and verbs, especially as it relates to dating. 

The word ‘date’ can be used as both a noun and a verb. 

As a noun I define ‘a date’ as any mutually agreed upon social activity with the aim of cultivating romance, intimacy and friendship in your relationship. (I really dig into this idea in a previous post Courtship: The Key to Dating Your Spouse Well.)

Therefore it follows that the verb “to date” can be distilled to this idea: to cultivate romance, intimacy and friendship with your spouse.  It is wooing, pursuing, and to use an old fashioned word, courting your spouse. 

When it comes to dating your spouse what is most important to focus on?  Is it the noun or the verb that matters most? 

There are other words that are both nouns and verbs.  The ones I found most instructive on this topic are the ones that are also tools. 

Take the word ‘hammer’ for example.  That word is used both as a noun and a verb. 

A hammer is most effective when it is used to hammer. 

Similarly a screw driver is most effective when it drives screws. 

These tools don’t act on themselves though.  They are used by people to achieve an end.  So it is with a date. 

Maybe you want to date your spouse more regularly but have been having a hard time making it happen.  It can be tough to consistently go out on a date, for many reasons.  

I want to encourage you not to be discouraged.  Don’t be discouraged if the dates are not happening like you hoped they would.  

Let go of your idea of the noun ‘date’ for the time being and focus on the verb. 

What if you thought of dating as though you were using a tool? 

When you use a tool you don’t focus on the tool.  You focus on what you want that tool to help you do. 

What do you want the tool of dating to help accomplish? 

Is it romance, intimacy and friendship with your spouse? 

Then keep that uppermost in your mind.  That aim, that objective, that outcome is what matters most.  

Besides going on a date, what else can you do to pursue that end?  

If you need some help with ideas check the post 75 Micro Date Ideas to Spice Up Your Marriage.

Other than going on a date (noun), what does it look like for you to date (verb) your spouse?

Feel free to share your answer in the comments!